Patient: Did that smile get you married or divorced?
Patient: “What would you do if Jesus came down and asked you to have 4 babies for him?”
Nurse: “I’d tell him I’m not his girl.”
Patient: “That’s not the right answer. I’m going to run over your kids with this cheeseburger.”
Nurse: Are you hungry?
Patient: Yes. (holding my hand, he pulls it into his mouth)
Nurse: You can’t eat me!
Patient: Why not, I’m hungry.
Me: Preforming Suspicious Minds and dancing for a hallway full of patients.
Patient: “Baby Cakes, you are full of some kind of fizzy juice and wiggle squirts.”
Patient 1: Is that a strange witch?
Patient 2: She never came back. I didn’t see a hat.
Patient 1: Because that old man’s been coaxed.
Patient 2: That’s terrible. I should warn him.
Patient 1: Little man in Spokane, has a rich man, that never wanted to lose control over his sweet fella.
Patient 2: Spokane has good food.
Patient 1: Well, he’s somewhere in those woods and he gave me a pen.
Nurse out loud: Did David Lynch write that conversation?
Nurse: “Do you have a pacemaker?”
Patient: “No, but I do have a cell phone.”
A few days ago a resident gave me a small bell tied to a string. She said that I should ring the bell to know what I mean to her.
This is what that bell tells me every time it rings: “I may not remember your name but thank you for being here for me, keeping me safe. I may not know exactly what you do for me but I do know that when I see you I smile and I laugh. You may fade from my thoughts when you walk away but you are always in my heart guiding me to experience joy in my every day. And when you leave here after a long shift feeling as though you may never recover from the exhaustion of being a nurse, ring this bell and know that you made a difference in one life today.”
I keep this tiny bell on a string in my car so that every time I leave the office I am reminded of making a difference in at least one life every day.