“You’re the first nurse I’ve seen with elephant ears.”
Month: May 2012
Bovine Kisses
“I blew you a kiss. I’m so sorry it smelled like cow hide.”
Alzheimer’s Zen
“I’m not awake. I’m not asleep. I’m a single minute.”
Brick In The Wind
“I feel like I’m throwing a brick in the wind.”
Rain
“Where are the people who own the rain?”
16 Tons better than the original
Singing to a familiar classic tune (as you read this the original song will make itself apparent):
“I’m another guy older and deeper in shit. Daddy don’t you call me a rotten egg storm. I owe my toes to the lady next door.”
Chicken neck
“What’s cookin’ good lookin’ chicken neck?”
Sugarcubes
Nurse: “Come over here and sit with me?”
Patient: “You shut your mouth.”
Nurse: “What did I do?”
Patient: “Oh well, I thought you were pulling sugarcubes.”
Baby Fat
“You’re a good baby, just fat enough to peek-a-boo.”
Hair Travel
Singing: “I’m going to my mother’s house. If I can get there through my hair.”
Get Off Of My Cloud
“If you touch my clouds, I’ll punch you across the hill.”
“Come on home, I’ll warm your room with pee.”
“There’s an older man sitting out there in the roller park. His face looks like a train. Could you tell him to go away? And by the way, I didn’t want to alarm you, but he’s dead. I don’t know how he found out where I was. I guess dead men with train faces can find anyone.”
“You know that song about sweet Alabama? I think it was about you.”
Conversation
Nurse: “How old is your baby?”
Patient: “I can’t think of everything.”
“On the table down there, could you look for my bad heart?”
Conversation
Nurse: “What can I do for you ma’am?”
Patient: “I need people to spread on my toast.”
Like A Prayer
“Our father who farted in heaven…”
Patient looking at the wheel on her wheelchair, patting it gently: Â “How cute, you got a new tooth”
“I brought the cowboys into town. I’m not strange.”
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