Patient: I want to go to the library.
Nurse: What book do you want to read?
Patient: The pokey one.
Nurse: What’s it about?
Patient: A dog that lives behind the library
Nurse: What’s the dogs name?
Patient: Pokey!
Nurse: What does pokey do?
Patient: He bites people and eats bookworms.
Nurse: Who wrote it?
Patient: I did. Just now.
Nurse: Now I can’t wait to read it.
Patient makes magic noises while waving her fingers: “there’s joy in hunger”
“Something about you belongs with the fried spirit people.”
“I tried to cross the desert so I could see the farmland.”
“You are the dew on my rain flowers.”
“I got to pull on my duck but not sure I can make him quack.”
“I’m going get an orange blossom and plant it for your glory, my spiced friend.”
“You’re as pretty as a lamb on the hillside.”
“But nothing beats the United States of salmon”
“Those are some big words. You should put them on your shoes and polish them.”
“Does Switzerland have a moon? If it does, I love you to Switzerland and back.”
Nurse- “I’m glad you’re my friend.”
Patient- “Friends are like brothers without snowshoes.”
Patient: “You young things always take good care of me.”
Nurse: “I’m not so young these days.“
Patient: “You’re young in my heart.”
Patient 1: “That girl has a busy life.”
Patient 2: “No she doesn’t, she just has busy eyebrows.”
Nurse: Happy hump day, Love.
Patient: Oh yeah, who are we humping?
“I’m watching your ears wiggle, if your right foot claps, it’s a bad omen.”
“Don’t let your worker bees lose their spots.”
Nurse: A lot has changed since you were young. Did you ever think people would be stuck to phones they carry in their pockets?
100 year old Patient: No, I guess I would like a time machine to tell you all to get a life.
Nurse: You need a time machine for that?
Patient: I need one to prove how stupid this conversation is.
Nurse: Say my name.
Patient: Squirrel Dog
“You better get off your ass because that’s where the information is coming from.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 