“I’m going to be an old son of a sea cook.”
Month: June 2012
Heart Butter
“OK. I’ll butter your hot black heart.”
Perspective
Nurse: “I’m like the witch with the house on top of her.”
Patient: “You’re lucky you have a roof over your head.”
Stains Of A Clown
“I’ve got to wash all these clowns off my clothes.”
God’s Blue Bells
Patient: “Please help me.”
Nurse: “How can I help you?”
Patient: “I want to be a visitor of God.”
Nurse: “How can I help with that?”
Patient: “I want you to help me paint someone blue.”
Nurse: “I’m not sure I can do that.”
Patient: “God said that bells are more than plenty.”
Chocolate Japan
“The question would be that Japan right there. Japan with the chocolate on it.”
Paper Sack
“I’m going to make the best of this paper sack to put your hair in.”
Bait Suit
Nurse: “Where are you going, Sir?”
Patient: “Laying in my bait suit.”
Alligator
“Look at this guy, he’s half an alligator.” -said to his own feet.
Auto Blind
“I don’t want to be blind like my car.”
Wings Of Children
Patient 1: “You want me to take a crack at that leg?”
Patient 2: “I’ll roll you in the children’s wings.”
Patient 1: “We’ll have to kick ’em all out before the dog get’s here.”
Smiling Cheek
“Guess what, I sinked a kiss. Your cheek is smiling now.”
Hollow Things
“Come on, let’s go get crushed with hollow things.”
Paperwork
Nurse: “I have this paperwork to finish.”
Patient: “Paperwork is another word for bullshit.”
Blue Nurse
Nurse: “I’m your nurse tonight.”
Patient: “You’re in church?”
Nurse: “No, I’m your nurse.”
Patient: “Ok then, I’ll take the blue one.”
Good Dog
“Could you get me a new wheelchair? This one won’t roll over or beg or nothing.”
Guarding Macaroni
Nurse: “Do you want me to walk you to your bedroom?”
Patient: “Is it guarded? Does she bite?”
Nurse: “I’ll stand guard.”
Patient: “Oh, you are a macaroni.”
Religious Law
“Are you a priest or the police?”
Inside Politics
“She was inside a congressman. I think he hoisted her.”
Turkey!
“Turkey! Make pee.”
