Nurse: “I’m like the witch with the house on top of her.”

Patient: “You’re lucky you have a roof over your head.”

Patient: “Please help me.”

Nurse: “How can I help you?”

Patient: “I want to be a visitor of God.”

Nurse: “How can I help with that?”

Patient: “I want you to help me paint someone blue.”

Nurse: “I’m not sure I can do that.”

Patient: “God said that bells are more than plenty.”

Nurse: “Where are you going, Sir?”

Patient: “Laying in my bait suit.”

Patient 1: “You want me to take a crack at that leg?”

Patient 2: “I’ll roll you in the children’s wings.”

Patient 1: “We’ll have to kick ’em all out before the dog get’s here.”

Nurse: “I have this paperwork to finish.”

Patient: “Paperwork is another word for bullshit.”

Nurse: “I’m your nurse tonight.”

Patient: “You’re in church?”

Nurse: “No, I’m your nurse.”

Patient: “Ok then, I’ll take the blue one.”

Nurse: “Do you want me to walk you to your bedroom?”

Patient: “Is it guarded? Does she bite?”

Nurse: “I’ll stand guard.”

Patient: “Oh, you are a macaroni.”