Patient makes magic noises while waving her fingers: “there’s joy in hunger”
Alzheimer’s conversation
Suspicious Minds
Me: Preforming Suspicious Minds and dancing for a hallway full of patients.
Patient: “Baby Cakes, you are full of some kind of fizzy juice and wiggle squirts.”
Shopping
Patient leans in and whispers, “I’m shopping for a real girl.”
Nurse whispers back, “I’m a real girl.”
A Bell On A String
The story of a Bell on a String
A few days ago a resident gave me a small bell tied to a string. She said that I should ring the bell to know what I mean to her.
This is what that bell tells me every time it rings: “I may not remember your name but thank you for being here for me, keeping me safe. I may not know exactly what you do for me but I do know that when I see you I smile and I laugh. You may fade from my thoughts when you walk away but you are always in my heart guiding me to experience joy in my every day. And when you leave here after a long shift feeling as though you may never recover from the exhaustion of being a nurse, ring this bell and know that you made a difference in one life today.”
I keep this tiny bell on a string in my car so that every time I leave the office I am reminded of making a difference in at least one life every day.
Conversation About the Weather
Patient 1: “What’s the matter with him?”
Patient 2: “I think the weather’s just fine.”
Patient 1: “Shouldn’t rain until his wibblies get to wiggling again.”
Friends
Nurse: “I’m glad you’re my friend.”
Patient: “I’m glad you decided to eat glue.”
Five Cents
Patient: “How much money do you have?”
Nurse: “About five cents.”
Patient: “If you had seven cents I’d marry you.”
Nurse: “The story of my life, always two cents shy.”
Computer String
Patient: “What do you need this for?
Nurse: “It’s my computer. That’s where all my information is stored.”
Patient: “The stringy parts and all?”
Soldier of Love
Patient: “Are you a soldier here?”
Nurse: “I’m a soldier in the army of love.”
Patient: “You must have 77 caliber kisses.”
Snuckabucka
Patient: “Can you bring me something to hope for?”
Nurse: “My hugs and kisses?”
Patient: “Well, that’s a whole lotta snuckabucka.”
Nurse: “I don’t wanna snuckabucka with anyone but you.”
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Nurse: “You’ve eaten so many cookies you’re going to turn into a chocolate chip.
Patient: “No, I can’t, I’m from the south.”
Apollo 13
I have the best job in the world. I get to help amazing people live a full dignified life with Alzheimer’s Disease. The people who shaped our world into the amazing place it is are now shaping my world as I continue to hold theirs into shape. It is a fascinating cycle of learning how to let the lives of others inspire my imagination while simultaneously being an anchor for them to hold on to reality. It is often like trying to direct a movie where none of the actors speak the same language as each other or the same language as me. But in the middle of all this chaos are real stories.
A resident brought a DVD set to me stating, “I have no need of this. I was there, in the control room, for every Apollo mission. Maybe you want to see this.” So I graciously accepted the set. We went on to discuss his work with NASA and the space program. He agreed the only thing holding me back from being an astronaut is the fact that I can’t do math. Our mutual laughter made his story my story.
This is how Alzheimer’s Disease should be treated. With stories not drugs and isolation from the world. Stories should be fostered for as long as someone can continue to tell them. It is how we connect to them and their past as the past slowly fades from their stories.
In my mind, few other entities embody the spirit of shaping our world like NASA. They are the epitome of adventure and exploration. It is my pleasure to make life worthwhile for some one who was mission control. After all, he helped make life worthwhile for me. I consider it a great honor to be the person who listens to the stories of these great men and women.
Specific Problems
Patient: “Can you help me?”
Nurse: “What’s wrong?”
Patient: “Everything.”
Nurse: “Can you be more specific so I know how to help you?”
Patient: “It’s death. I don’t know how to do it.”
Party
Nurse: “Do you want to go to a tea party?”
Patient: “I’d rather go to a pee pee party.”
Dr. Ding Dong
“When you see Dr. Ding Dong tell him he failed my check up.”
Arkansas In It
Nurse: “I’ve got you captive for hugs.”
Patient: “I’ve got you as an audience.”
Nurse: “You sure do.”
Patient: “Let’s put it a little Arkansas in it.”
Acrobat Shoes
Patient: ” Someone took my…”
Nurse: “Took your?”
Patient: “My shoes.”
Nurse: “You’re wearing your shoes.”
Patient: “My acrobat shoes.”
Nurse: “I didn’t know you had acrobat shoes.”
Patient: “Only when I stand up.”
Swiss Church
Patient: “I feel like I have to go to church.”
Nurse: “There are no church services today. Would you like to go to your room to pray?”
Patient: “Maybe you could just roll upwards into the Swiss land.”
Stars
Patient: “I want the stars.”
Nurse: “Which stars do you want?”
Patient: “The ones in my head.”
Nurse: “I’ll get you something for those stars.”
Patient: “They smell like life on fire.”
Say My Name
Nurse: “Hi, my name is Amy.”
Patient: “I bet they call you Carmen.”
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