Patient: “Do you have a date for tonight?”
Social Worker: “No.”
Patient: “Well you better get one. You’re looking pretty today.”
Month: November 2014
Dreaming
Nurse: “How are you breathing?”
Patient: “I always dream about you.”
Uprising
“For some reason I think I’ll start an uprising.”
Rattle
“That’s how the cookie rattles.”
Hand Freeze
“I need something to rope her with, my hand keeps freezing up.”
Supervisor
“She’s my sleepervisor.”
Balance the Numbers
“See, we’re all balanced on one side with 3 and 4 beside us.”
Mud Love
“You haven’t got enough mud down to love on me.”
Restless Law
Nurse: “You’re restless today.”
Patient: “I’m a cop.”
Conspiracy Theory
Patient: Â “I was put on this planet for the alcoholics.”
Social Worker: Â “O.K.?”
Patient: Â “You know why alcohol is so addictive? It’s basically sugar, the most addictive substance on the planet.”
Social Worker: Â “Yes, that sounds about right.”
Patient: Â “You know that’s why they have cookies laying around here all the time. So they can tell us what to do and we’ll do it.”
Social Worker: Â “Well, they make the cookies here fresh every morning.”
Patient: Â “That’s what they’d like you to think. I looked in the freezer and there are a bunch of zip lock bags of cookies. And no one knows where they come from.”
Organ Ship
“Why are these airplanes compounding the organ ship?”
Leave It On
“Leave it on for 46 bandits.”
Where’s The Bean
“Where’s the closest bean pod?”
What You Think
“You can’t depend on what you think it is.”
Light and Dead
“It’s sort of a royce of light and dead.”
Low Mountains
“Shit, maybe I’ll be have the low mountains tonight.”
Soft Fire
“I’m raising soft fire, it’s the only thing slow and cheap.”
The Badlands
“This is the badlands of Wheaties in a cave.”
New Album
“I would hate to be on that album, Romans on Rice.”
Big Kahuna
“Since you’re the big Kahuna, can you wrap her in fly paper?”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 