Nurse: Are you hungry?
Patient: Yes. (holding my hand, he pulls it into his mouth)
Nurse: You can’t eat me!
Patient: Why not, I’m hungry.
Me: Preforming Suspicious Minds and dancing for a hallway full of patients.
Patient: “Baby Cakes, you are full of some kind of fizzy juice and wiggle squirts.”
“I’m not an atheist. I come back when I’m gone.”
Patient 1: Is that a strange witch?
Patient 2: She never came back. I didn’t see a hat.
Patient 1: Because that old man’s been coaxed.
Patient 2: That’s terrible. I should warn him.
Patient 1: Little man in Spokane, has a rich man, that never wanted to lose control over his sweet fella.
Patient 2: Spokane has good food.
Patient 1: Well, he’s somewhere in those woods and he gave me a pen.
Nurse out loud: Did David Lynch write that conversation?
Patient 1: I don’t think I can hold this old man any longer, he is crazier than the holy-cast man.
Patient 2: Holy shit, can I work it, man?
Nurse: “Do you have a pacemaker?”
Patient: “No, but I do have a cell phone.”
“I don’t know about this bed. I can’t fit anyone else in it, especially the fire department.”