Nurse: A lot has changed since you were young. Did you ever think people would be stuck to phones they carry in their pockets?
100 year old Patient: No, I guess I would like a time machine to tell you all to get a life.
Nurse: You need a time machine for that?
Patient: I need one to prove how stupid this conversation is.
Nurse: Say my name.
Patient: Squirrel Dog
Patient: Did that smile get you married or divorced?
Patient: “What would you do if Jesus came down and asked you to have 4 babies for him?”
Nurse: “I’d tell him I’m not his girl.”
Patient: “That’s not the right answer. I’m going to run over your kids with this cheeseburger.”
Patient: I have 6 toes.
Nurse: I have 10.
Patient: Can they take you long distance?
Nurse: They brought me here.
Nurse: Are you hungry?
Patient: Yes. (holding my hand, he pulls it into his mouth)
Nurse: You can’t eat me!
Patient: Why not, I’m hungry.
Me: Preforming Suspicious Minds and dancing for a hallway full of patients.
Patient: “Baby Cakes, you are full of some kind of fizzy juice and wiggle squirts.”