Nurse: “Are you hungry?”
Patient: “I’m a little wrinkled.”
Wrinkled
Nurse: “Are you hungry?”
Patient: “I’m a little wrinkled.”
Alzheimer’s Quote
Look at Me
“Quit standing on your can and look at me.”
Size of Me
“I thought it would be the end of my life, the size of me.”
Ninth Sea
“Who is the ninth sea of the ocean in front?”
Pauses
“I just lie there in my pauses.”
Rinky Dinky
“You’re a rinky dinky dawn!”
Date Night
Patient: “Do you have a date for tonight?”
Social Worker: “No.”
Patient: “Well you better get one. You’re looking pretty today.”
Dreaming
Nurse: “How are you breathing?”
Patient: “I always dream about you.”
Uprising
“For some reason I think I’ll start an uprising.”
Rattle
“That’s how the cookie rattles.”
Hand Freeze
“I need something to rope her with, my hand keeps freezing up.”
Supervisor
“She’s my sleepervisor.”
Balance the Numbers
“See, we’re all balanced on one side with 3 and 4 beside us.”
Mud Love
“You haven’t got enough mud down to love on me.”
Restless Law
Nurse: “You’re restless today.”
Patient: “I’m a cop.”
Conspiracy Theory
Patient: “I was put on this planet for the alcoholics.”
Social Worker: “O.K.?”
Patient: “You know why alcohol is so addictive? It’s basically sugar, the most addictive substance on the planet.”
Social Worker: “Yes, that sounds about right.”
Patient: “You know that’s why they have cookies laying around here all the time. So they can tell us what to do and we’ll do it.”
Social Worker: “Well, they make the cookies here fresh every morning.”
Patient: “That’s what they’d like you to think. I looked in the freezer and there are a bunch of zip lock bags of cookies. And no one knows where they come from.”
Organ Ship
“Why are these airplanes compounding the organ ship?”
Leave It On
“Leave it on for 46 bandits.”
Where’s The Bean
“Where’s the closest bean pod?”
What You Think
“You can’t depend on what you think it is.”
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