“Don’t stack me on tobaccy until the blow breaks.”
Tobaccy
“Don’t stack me on tobaccy until the blow breaks.”
Alzheimer’s Quote Of The Night
Human Being
“Talk to me and make me feel like I’m a human being.”
Books Hurt
“Someone put a really thick book here inside my bone. Can you make it stop hurting?”
Logic
Patient: “BETTY!”
Nurse: “Is Betty your wife?”
Patient: “No.”
Nurse: “Who is Betty?”
Patient: “I don’t know.”
Nurse: “Why are you calling her?”
Patient: “Because she’s not here.”
Cookies For Bulls
“That boy in the backyard has a bull. Should we send out cookies?”
California Gates
“All those gates take you to California if you follow the man in your dreams.”
Ghost Cards
“I want to give the girls cards with ghosts in them.”
Knee Lights
“I’ve got lights in my knees.”
Breath
“Is that your new breath?”
Part Time Apple Tree
Nurse: “I have some apple juice for you.”
Patient: “Me?”
Nurse: “I’m even going to lie to you and tell you I grew the apples myself.”
Patient: “Are you an apple tree?”
Nurse: “Only in my spare time.”
Magic Hugs
“You have special magic hugs that make me remember you.”
~Nurses note: This has to be my favorite quote since I started collecting them.
Do you have a flag?
“You make me feel good. You should have a flag or something.”
Falling Off Kentucky
“In 90 years I’m going to fall off Kentucky.”
How are you?
Patient 1: “How are you?”
Patient 2: “Mentally iffiting.”
Oh Man
“Oh man, Oh man, I shit a little twine.”
Hello Pizza
“Hello pizza, I’m gonna sweeten your butt.”
Under My Pillow
Patient: “You want to go try the rose after I get out of the service?”
Nurse: “Sounds wonderful.”
Patient: “We get along nicely, don’t we?”
Nurse: “Yes we do.”
Patient: “I think I’ll put you under my pillow tonight.”
Monkey & Fried Chicken
“I’m gonna kill you with my monkey and fried chicken.”
Elephant Ass
“You’ll never catch me, I have an elephant in my ass.”
Dance in the wind
“The wind is coming in and I can’t dance.”
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