Patient: “What would you do if Jesus came down and asked you to have 4 babies for him?”
Nurse: “I’d tell him I’m not his girl.”
Patient: “That’s not the right answer. I’m going to run over your kids with this cheeseburger.”
quotes
Britches
Watching the nurse dance and sing: “I think someone needs to clean this house, she’s got the dust in her britches.”
Bite Sized Songs
“I get in there and break the air up in bite sized songs.”
Moondance
“Hello Moondance, do you have an elevator to give me?”
Pig
“I love ya darlin, but I gotta go poke the pig for the rest of the night.”
Donuts
“I ate enough donuts tonight to look like I work for Hugh Hefner.”
Robbing the Cradle
“Robbing the cradle is one thing, killing the baby is another.”
Shoe Shine
“Don’t go making us shine shoes that are not right.”
Will
“If you pull it any harder I’ll put you in the will.”
Dream Shake
“I asked you go dream shaking nicely, now you need to lower my expectations.”
Soft Face
“You put that soft face on and forgot to set it on fire.”
Grapes
“When life gives you grapes, shove them up your snout.”
Squirrels
“Sweetie, I’d let you help me but I don’t think you can dodge all those squirrels.”
Air
“Can you not with your mouth? I have to breathe this air.”
20,000 Compliments
“I can’t be here with your 20,000 compliments, I need to be free.”
Baby Reporters
“Someone needs to do something about those baby reporters growing too big for their heads.”
Jelly and Goose
“You got jelly in your legs, a hole in your heart, and your hips got the goose.”
Wrong Place
“He’s had his share of being at the wrong place for a long time.”
Wiggle
“I’m just like you. I like to wiggle and squiggle.”
Toes
Patient: I have 6 toes.
Nurse: I have 10.
Patient: Can they take you long distance?
Nurse: They brought me here.