“I think I met you on the back of your hand last week.”
I Met You
“I think I met you on the back of your hand last week.”
Nurse Bitterpill
To Sea
“Do you think we should set her to sea screaming?”
Witnesses
Patient: “Where’s our witness?”
Nurse: “I don’t know about any witnesses.”
Patient: “Someone’s gotta see you do this shit.”
What Accumulates in You
“What is it that accumulates in you? Hemorrhoids! That’s it.”
Poem of Siam
“I don’t know where I’m at
I don’t know where I am
I ate it all while I was in Siam”
Whisper Good News
“If you were a girl and didn’t whisper on a feather I wouldn’t whisper any good news.”
My Apple
“Ma’am, do we bite our own apple or do you bite it for us?”
Thermostat
“If you’re not made of wood you don’t have a themostat.”
This Cruel World
“What was I talking about? Oh yeah, how cruel the world is and who hard it is for nurses to stand all day.”
Game of Now
Patient: “Games are fun!”
Nurse: “What game do you want to play?”
Patient: “We’ll play the ‘In the Zone of Now’ where tomorrow is where lessons are learned.”
Stamped Ticket
“Can I get my ticket stamped until this afteroon on the first flight out of canned rot?”
Bear Climbing
“I think it’s natural to go bear climbing.”
Hunters
“We can use deer hunters to track down that ice cream truck.”
Ears
“Where do you keep your ears?”
Corsage
“That’s a corsage with an attitude.”
Not an Option
“Where are you taking me, Officer? New York is not an option.”
Magic
“Your magic is dumb.”
Barrel
“Help! I’m in a barrel without any hope.”
Shower
“I try to keep in touch with my ten year old shower.”
Robert Redford
Nurse: “That’s Robert Redford on TV.”
Patient: “Can he have breakfast?”
Nurse: “I’d love to have breakfast with Robert Redford.”
Patient: “Only if he cuts that shit off his head.”
Nurse: “I kind of like his hair.”
Patient: “You’re the reason he doesn’t make movies any more.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 