Patient: “I’m really dreading this.”
Nurse: “What are you dreading?”
Patient: “The ship and the sea.”
Nurse: “Are you lost at sea?”
Patient: “My flippers are lost but you keep finding me and giving me pills.”
Nurse Bitterpill
The Tab
“If you can’t get it right on the tab you can’t get the tab.”
East
“What’s my next east?”
LIzards
Patient: “What’s going to happen to us this morning?”
Nurse: “We’re all going to turn into giant lizards.”
Patient: “That’s a shame after all that water we swam across.”
Nurse: “Don’t worry, lizards swim.”
Taxes
Patient: “Hey, how long do I have on these income taxes?”
Nurse: “You have until April 15th.”
Patient: “Good, I can take a nap then.”
Where to Go
Nurse: “Where are you going?”
Patient: “I’m going to January, all the way.”
Cabbage Head
“I feel like someone who has cabbage for brains.”
Apache
“I found some Apaches in my oatmeal. Should I make them lunch?”
Breakfast Kisses
“Breakfast isn’t getting any better. But your kisses get sweeter every day.”
Insulation
“I don’t like the eyes of insulation.”
On Strike
“Dammit! This wheelchair is on strike.”
Float Nurse
“I wish something more than you was floating around here”
Butterflies and Mud
Patient: “They get scared, don’t they?”
Nurse: “How can we make them not scared?”
Patient: “Butterflies and mud.”
Retempsess
Nurse: “If you go to the dining room we have breakfast ready.”
Patient: “Is it the best recomendest retempsess?”
Elephants Under the Skin
“It smells like elephants under the skin.”
Door Knob
“You’re my door knob.”
Secret Service
“Do you know the Monday night Secret Service?”
Landalay
“Landalay, my grim is breaking asunder.”
Gorilla
“My car is a gorilla.”
For Fun
“Did you look at me for fun or did you just notice we were lost?”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 