Patient 1: I don’t think I can hold this old man any longer, he is crazier than the holy-cast man.
Patient 2: Holy shit, can I work it, man?
Nurse Bitterpill
Face Off
“I can still hippity-hop around the block but you won’t face me.”
Huggy Buggy
“Those other huggy buggy people were shit stains trying to restore equilibrium.”
It’s Christmas
“Zip the lip, Cutie. It’s Christmas.”
beautiful
“You are a beautiful Christmas colored gal.”
Yodel
“Can I just sit here and yodel for a while until you forget about me?”
Liquid People
“Have any of you heard the legality of my blood from the liquid people?”
A Little Less
“Can you do a little less of the yakity back and a little more of the shut your sack?”
Honestly Connie
“Honestly Connie, I’m upside down before I can even shit in the can.”
Burning Bright
“I saw you burning bright yesterday and worried I’d have to touch you.”
Milkshake Wheel
“I’m going to dive into you and find that spinning wheel of milkshakes.”
Pain Donation
“I’m donating my pain to the young man with the black eyebrows.”
Turn it off
“This dress is beautiful but I can’t get anybody to turn it off “
Don’t Panic
“Don’t panic, these are red shoes.”
Eyelids
“I tried to lower my eyelids but they’re blue and only to be used in winter.”
Fire Department
“I don’t know about this bed. I can’t fit anyone else in it, especially the fire department.”
The Boys
“The boys are giving me trouble today”
(Pointing to her knees. translation: My knees are hurting.)
Reunions
“Reunions are for backwards people who can’t put their pants on the right foot.”
Balloons
“My balloons aren’t cracking.”
(I can’t remember)
Riding Sheep
“She rides a lot on the sheep then she rides on something else.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 