Patient: “Were you here last year?”
Nurse: “Yes I was.”
Patient: “Then you were here when all the women busted out.”
Nurse: “I don’t remember that.”
Patient: “Well, I Western Unioned them all across the street.”
Alzheimer’s quotes
Favorite Green
“You’re my favorite kind of green.”
Heart String
“I have a special string in my heart for you, don’t think I don’t.”
Dictation
A resident asked me to take dictation for her. This is her letter.
Dear Silent Brent,
That won’t go over good with your paper romance. We need a lawyer.
Big
“That’s so big it’s a kidney!”
Prickly Pear
“I think you’re under sunder of the prickly pear.”
Airport
Nurse: “Will you be my beautiful lady?”
Patient: “For the rest of the airport.”
Coal Horizon
“The coal is out of the time and won’t come home until the horizon spills the day.”
Nickel Raised
“My little nickel raised this house.”
Rock Rock
“Rock rock rebonaise with fire.” -Shouted while watching the movie Grease
Difference
“It makes a difference on the difference.”
LeRoy
Nurse: “We have a living room for you to relax in, right over there.”
Patient: “Why are you sending me to LeRoy?”
Lazy
“I’m lazy about you.”
Hothead
“What kind of heatball did you get in your hair?”
Bone & Roast
“She got it in the bone and it turned to roast.”
House Juice
“Can you juice the house with a house?”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 