Don’t Forget to Whistle

“Don’t forget to whistle while you fart.”

A Biff

“You have a biff in your gobbler.”

Whispering Veil

“You’re the whispering veil today with no way out.”

Cheese Cloth

“Come on Cheese Cloth, you’re so slow its pitiful.”

Nurse Dancer

“One of these days we’re going to find out that they hired you as a dancer and you’re only pretending to be a nurse.”

Lost at Sea

Patient: “I’m really dreading this.”

Nurse: “What are you dreading?”

Patient: “The ship and the sea.”

Nurse: “Are you lost at sea?”

Patient: “My flippers are lost but you keep finding me and giving me pills.”

The Tab

“If you can’t get it right on the tab you can’t get the tab.”

East

“What’s my next east?”

LIzards

Patient: “What’s going to happen to us this morning?”

Nurse: “We’re all going to turn into giant lizards.”

Patient: “That’s a shame after all that water we swam across.”

Nurse: “Don’t worry, lizards swim.”

Taxes

Patient: “Hey, how long do I have on these income taxes?”

Nurse: “You have until April 15th.”

Patient: “Good, I can take a nap then.”

Where to Go

Nurse: “Where are you going?”

Patient: “I’m going to January, all the way.”

Cabbage Head

“I feel like someone who has cabbage for brains.”

Apache

“I found some Apaches in my oatmeal. Should I make them lunch?”

Breakfast Kisses

“Breakfast isn’t getting any better. But your kisses get sweeter every day.”

Insulation

“I don’t like the eyes of insulation.”

On Strike

“Dammit! This wheelchair is on strike.”

Float Nurse

“I wish something more than you was floating around here”

Butterflies and Mud

Patient: “They get scared, don’t they?”

Nurse: “How can we make them not scared?”

Patient: “Butterflies and mud.”

Retempsess

Nurse: “If you go to the dining room we have breakfast ready.”

Patient: “Is it the best recomendest retempsess?”

Elephants Under the Skin

“It smells like elephants under the skin.”