Patient: “Were you here last year?”
Nurse: “Yes I was.”
Patient: “Then you were here when all the women busted out.”
Nurse: “I don’t remember that.”
Patient: “Well, I Western Unioned them all across the street.”
Alzheimer’s Quote
Favorite Green
“You’re my favorite kind of green.”
Heart String
“I have a special string in my heart for you, don’t think I don’t.”
Dictation
A resident asked me to take dictation for her. This is her letter.
Dear Silent Brent,
That won’t go over good with your paper romance. We need a lawyer.
Big
“That’s so big it’s a kidney!”
Prickly Pear
“I think you’re under sunder of the prickly pear.”
Airport
Nurse: “Will you be my beautiful lady?”
Patient: “For the rest of the airport.”
Different Hill
“That’s a hill for a different map”
Locked Doors
Patient: “You didn’t tell me about all the locked doors to get here.”
Nurse: “I didn’t run across any locked doors on my way. I got through just fine.”
Patient: “Well, you’re smaller than me.”
Coal Horizon
“The coal is out of the time and won’t come home until the horizon spills the day.”
Nickel Raised
“My little nickel raised this house.”
Rock Rock
“Rock rock rebonaise with fire.” -Shouted while watching the movie Grease
Difference
“It makes a difference on the difference.”
LeRoy
Nurse: “We have a living room for you to relax in, right over there.”
Patient: “Why are you sending me to LeRoy?”
Lawnmower Man
“Why do you look like a lawnmower?”
Tucked in
Patient: “The best part of it being night is that you tuck me in. “
Nurse: “Is that why you keep getting up? You trying to get extra tuck ins?”
Patient: “Probably, it’s worth it.”
Buddy
“You’re my sugar buddy. Would you like to shickaboo?”
One Bite
“One bite’s plenty, I’ll be hollow all night.”
Block Soup
“If they come back with block soup, you’re alright.”
Your Daughter
“I look good under your daughter.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 