“I found some Apaches in my oatmeal. Should I make them lunch?”
Apache
“I found some Apaches in my oatmeal. Should I make them lunch?”
Alzheimer’s Quote
Breakfast Kisses
“Breakfast isn’t getting any better. But your kisses get sweeter every day.”
Insulation
“I don’t like the eyes of insulation.”
On Strike
“Dammit! This wheelchair is on strike.”
Butterflies and Mud
Patient: “They get scared, don’t they?”
Nurse: “How can we make them not scared?”
Patient: “Butterflies and mud.”
Retempsess
Nurse: “If you go to the dining room we have breakfast ready.”
Patient: “Is it the best recomendest retempsess?”
Elephants Under the Skin
“It smells like elephants under the skin.”
Door Knob
“You’re my door knob.”
Secret Service
“Do you know the Monday night Secret Service?”
Landalay
“Landalay, my grim is breaking asunder.”
Gorilla
“My car is a gorilla.”
For Fun
“Did you look at me for fun or did you just notice we were lost?”
I Met You
“I think I met you on the back of your hand last week.”
To Sea
“Do you think we should set her to sea screaming?”
Witnesses
Patient: “Where’s our witness?”
Nurse: “I don’t know about any witnesses.”
Patient: “Someone’s gotta see you do this shit.”
What Accumulates in You
“What is it that accumulates in you? Hemorrhoids! That’s it.”
Poem of Siam
“I don’t know where I’m at
I don’t know where I am
I ate it all while I was in Siam”
Whisper Good News
“If you were a girl and didn’t whisper on a feather I wouldn’t whisper any good news.”
My Apple
“Ma’am, do we bite our own apple or do you bite it for us?”
Thermostat
“If you’re not made of wood you don’t have a themostat.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 