“I am me today.”
Me
“I am me today.”
Alzheimer’s Quote
Color Spectrum
“Nobody looks that good in red but you.”
P.s. I’m wearing green.
Sit Down
“Come, sit down and don’t think.”
Weight Loss Motivation
“Amy, will you please lose weight so you don’t die before me?”
Bed Bugs
“I hope the bed bugs bite you in the idiots!”
Ivy
“You haven’t seen my cousin Ivy, have you? I’m supposed to kill her at noon. Or maybe it was Hazel?”
Butter Toast
“Melt your butter on my toast, you jerks.”
Stand With Me
“Who wants to stand with me against wheelchairs that don’t go.”
This is a Strike
“This is a strike, against you, the no-brain, keeping me in the wrong hallway.”
I Remember You
“I remember you because you give good hugs.”
Specific Problems
Patient: “Can you help me?”
Nurse: “What’s wrong?”
Patient: “Everything.”
Nurse: “Can you be more specific so I know how to help you?”
Patient: “It’s death. I don’t know how to do it.”
Revolution
“I’ve started a revolution inside your tiny brains.”
Party
Nurse: “Do you want to go to a tea party?”
Patient: “I’d rather go to a pee pee party.”
Dr. Ding Dong
“When you see Dr. Ding Dong tell him he failed my check up.”
Arkansas In It
Nurse: “I’ve got you captive for hugs.”
Patient: “I’ve got you as an audience.”
Nurse: “You sure do.”
Patient: “Let’s put it a little Arkansas in it.”
Acrobat Shoes
Patient: ” Someone took my…”
Nurse: “Took your?”
Patient: “My shoes.”
Nurse: “You’re wearing your shoes.”
Patient: “My acrobat shoes.”
Nurse: “I didn’t know you had acrobat shoes.”
Patient: “Only when I stand up.”
Blue Blah Sunshine
“It’s blue blah sunshine out there, fancy pants.”
Bigger
“I wish we had something bigger than us when we’re together.”
Old Bear
“If you have an old bear, you’ll have to read a lot.”
Hiccup
“I woke up on the Earth’s hiccup.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 