“When did you replace your heart with your ass”
Heart Replacement
“When did you replace your heart with your ass”
Alzheimer’s Quote
Shhh
“Shh… You can’t sing to me or they’ll know we’re friends.”
Not Illegal
“I’ve got a job for you. It’s not illegal anymore. It starts with my ex-husband and this red car.”
Anger and Squirrels
“They are all caught up in their anger and squirrels. I have to use my own head for breathing.”
Friends
“I like that you’re my best friend in this barrel.”
Amber Birds
If you were a bird I’d let them see you dance in amber.
Songstress
“Is that you singing? Sounds like there’s Bob stuck in your cob.”
No Shine
“I can’t find anybody so I guess I won’t shine.”
In it for love
“I don’t know much, I’m just in it for love.”
Nosebleeds
“Put some water on the fields. It’s hot under these nosebleeds.”
Raging Bull
“I feel like a raging bull when you pull on my brain.”
Paper
“I don’t want you made of paper; I want you to be real.”
Shopping
Patient leans in and whispers, “I’m shopping for a real girl.”
Nurse whispers back, “I’m a real girl.”
Two Crashing Soldiers
“Here we are, two soldiers, crashing from half into whole, where no one else wants to go.”
Because Why
“Because the why is often filled with nothing in there.”
Duct Tape
“You look like you could use some transcendental duct tape.”
Playing
“I’ll be playing in the ubie-ubie bush.”
Saturday Night Live
“Lady, you should be dropping your balls on Saturday Night Live.”
Water
“Please, I’ve had enough of this hydrated water.”
Desserts
“I’m trying to find a way not to pay for all the desserts I plan to eat.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 