“I’ll sit on the lamb and sing some hats for you.”
Lamb Singer
“I’ll sit on the lamb and sing some hats for you.”
Alzheimer’s Quote of the night
Grits
“It’s people like you who come to grits.”
Good Hearts
“It’s difficult to see the agony of people with good hearts.”
Open Mind
“You’re an open brain with a masal condition.”
Showgirl
Nurse: “You want to get something to eat?”
Patient: “No, I’m not a showgirl!“
Georgia
“You’re almost as nice as half of Georgia.”
Pig
“A good pig is a good tooth.”
Horse Theif
“Do you live on the same street as the horse thief? You live on the horse thief?”
Twice
“He apoosed it twice.”
Hippie
“Is my hippie in the way?”
Next Week
Nurse: “Can I get you something?
Patient: “A woman for next week.”
Frenchmen
Patient: “Have you seen my daughter?”
Nurse: “No, not today.”
Patient: “You know where she is? She’s across the bay. She finds those Frenchmen pretty damn interesting.”
Western Union Woman
Patient: “Were you here last year?”
Nurse: “Yes I was.”
Patient: “Then you were here when all the women busted out.”
Nurse: “I don’t remember that.”
Patient: “Well, I Western Unioned them all across the street.”
Favorite Green
“You’re my favorite kind of green.”
Heart String
“I have a special string in my heart for you, don’t think I don’t.”
Dictation
A resident asked me to take dictation for her. This is her letter.
Dear Silent Brent,
That won’t go over good with your paper romance. We need a lawyer.
Big
“That’s so big it’s a kidney!”
Prickly Pear
“I think you’re under sunder of the prickly pear.”
Airport
Nurse: “Will you be my beautiful lady?”
Patient: “For the rest of the airport.”
Different Hill
“That’s a hill for a different map”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 