“I plan to walk to my car with my underpants falling down.”
The Plan
“I plan to walk to my car with my underpants falling down.”
Alzheimer’s Quote of the night
To Florida?
“Is this the corridor to Florida?”
Hold the Misery
“Hold the misery. I’m gonna commuse you yet.”
Sherry
“Nothing’s coming to me and it’s over a hundred dollars, Sherry Shitlace.”
Mansion
“I don’t know what I’ll be but I bet it’s not a mansion.”
Roses
“I have roses in my behind and they are about to start hanging.”
Telegraph
“I’m going to telegraph my parents to come get me.”
Stars
Patient: “I want the stars.”
Nurse: “Which stars do you want?”
Patient: “The ones in my head.”
Nurse: “I’ll get you something for those stars.”
Patient: “They smell like life on fire.”
Song Doesn’t Rhyme
“Your song doesn’t rhyme but it sure feels good in my arms.”
Summer Camp
“So this is like summer camp, huh?”
Pills On The Train
“When are you going to put two pills on the train?”
Tomorrow
“I don’t go here. I belong to tomorrow.”
All The Colors
“Do you paint with all the colors when you kiss me?”
Moon Candy
“I want to eat your moon swept candy.”
Come Out Home
“As far as you want, as far as you get, you’ll always come out home.”
Go Forth
“Keep on riding and we can go forth.”
Tardy
“I’m tardy for your kisses tomorrow.”
Say My Name
Nurse: “Hi, my name is Amy.”
Patient: “I bet they call you Carmen.”
Vocabulary World Problems
Patient: “Did you teach them those big words?”
Nurse: “Nope. They discovered vocabulary on their own.”
Patient: “Good, you can argue with them in multiple syllables.”
Die a Little
“I die a little every day. Thank god you know CPR.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 