Patient 1: “Are your dancing shoes going to paint the town yellow?”

Patient 2: “Where are you going to get the paint?”

Patient 3: “From you shiny soles.”

Nurse: “It’s going to be a beautiful day.”

Patient: “Did you send it in triplicate, stamped good day?”

Nurse: “How are you today?”

Patient: “Well, you know, I’m dilating.”

Patient: “I’m really dreading this.”

Nurse: “What are you dreading?”

Patient: “The ship and the sea.”

Nurse: “Are you lost at sea?”

Patient: “My flippers are lost but you keep finding me and giving me pills.”

Patient: “What’s going to happen to us this morning?”

Nurse: “We’re all going to turn into giant lizards.”

Patient: “That’s a shame after all that water we swam across.”

Nurse: “Don’t worry, lizards swim.”

Patient: “Hey, how long do I have on these income taxes?”

Nurse: “You have until April 15th.”

Patient: “Good, I can take a nap then.”

Nurse: “Where are you going?”

Patient: “I’m going to January, all the way.”

Patient: “They get scared, don’t they?”

Nurse: “How can we make them not scared?”

Patient: “Butterflies and mud.”

Nurse: “If you go to the dining room we have breakfast ready.”

Patient: “Is it the best recomendest retempsess?”

Patient: “Where’s our witness?”

Nurse: “I don’t know about any witnesses.”

Patient: “Someone’s gotta see you do this shit.”

Patient: “Games are fun!”

Nurse: “What game do you want to play?”

Patient: “We’ll play the ‘In the Zone of Now’ where tomorrow is where lessons are learned.”

Patient having conversation with herself:

“Jesus, are you here?”

“No. I’m not where you are.”

“Jesus, did you sneeze?”

“No, I’m on the train with Melinda.”

“Mama Mia, I’m going to fall into your nose.”

Patient: “What did you do with my rabies bed?”

Nurse: “Your bed has rabies?”

Patient: “It will when I get through with it.”

Nurse: “Did you have good dreams?”

Patient: “Just another pillow on the highway.”

Nurse: “You couldn’t find your room?”

Patient: “Well, she’s walking on the exhaust system.”

Nurse: “Ok, I have your pills and your water.”

Patient: “And your idiot salute.”

Nurse: “Look at that fish. He sure has a funny face.”

Patient: “I don’t know how he got in there.”

Nurse: “I think he swam in.”

Patient: “And they forgot the bing, bing, bing, in the cloud sky.”

Patient 1: “How are you feeling?”

Patient 2: “How do I fail?”

Patient 1: “You look very nice.”

Patient 2: “I fell in a blue alamo.”