Nurse: “Would you yell at me for playing ball in the house?”
Patient: “No, I think the lemur would get you first.”
Alzheimer’s conversation
Showgirl
Nurse: “You want to get something to eat?”
Patient: “No, I’m not a showgirl!“
Next Week
Nurse: “Can I get you something?
Patient: “A woman for next week.”
Frenchmen
Patient: “Have you seen my daughter?”
Nurse: “No, not today.”
Patient: “You know where she is? She’s across the bay. She finds those Frenchmen pretty damn interesting.”
Western Union Woman
Patient: “Were you here last year?”
Nurse: “Yes I was.”
Patient: “Then you were here when all the women busted out.”
Nurse: “I don’t remember that.”
Patient: “Well, I Western Unioned them all across the street.”
Dictation
A resident asked me to take dictation for her. This is her letter.
Dear Silent Brent,
That won’t go over good with your paper romance. We need a lawyer.
Airport
Nurse: “Will you be my beautiful lady?”
Patient: “For the rest of the airport.”
Locked Doors
Patient: “You didn’t tell me about all the locked doors to get here.”
Nurse: “I didn’t run across any locked doors on my way. I got through just fine.”
Patient: “Well, you’re smaller than me.”
LeRoy
Nurse: “We have a living room for you to relax in, right over there.”
Patient: “Why are you sending me to LeRoy?”
Tucked in
Patient: “The best part of it being night is that you tuck me in. “
Nurse: “Is that why you keep getting up? You trying to get extra tuck ins?”
Patient: “Probably, it’s worth it.”
Radio
Nurse: “How are you?”
Patient: “I’m the radio.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 