“I’m the turtle colonel.”
Colonel
“I’m the turtle colonel.”
Beautiful Day
“Sometimes all it takes is the rigt human to make it a beautiful day.”
Vocabulary World Problems
Patient: “Did you teach them those big words?”
Nurse: “Nope. They discovered vocabulary on their own.”
Patient: “Good, you can argue with them in multiple syllables.”
Die a Little
“I die a little every day. Thank god you know CPR.”
Walker Phone
Patient: [holding a walker] “Can I call out on this thing?”
Nurse: “No. I don’t think that walker makes calls.”
That Old Saying
“It’s like that old saying goes; 100 times you’re right then its too good to be your gift.”
Whiskey Eggs
“Can I have a jigger of whiskey with these eggs? They’re not happy enough.”
Lipstick Pain
“Have you noticed how badly the lipstick matches my pain?”
Rain Gathering
“Do you object to my setting up a rain gathering?”
Smiles
“Every time you smile, I smile, and that’s how smiles should work.”
Dancing Shoes
Patient 1: “Are your dancing shoes going to paint the town yellow?”
Patient 2: “Where are you going to get the paint?”
Patient 3: “From you shiny soles.”
Every Minute is a New Day: The Language of Dementia
It’s here! It’s live!
The new Kickstarter campaign for Every Minute is a New Day has launched today. Please take a moment to spread the word, tell a friend, and message a neighbor. It doesn’t take much to help. As little as the cost of a latte can help fund the publishing of the book.
Find us here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/fuzzylizzard/every-minute-is-a-new-day-the-language-of-dementia
Together we can spread a message of love and hope for Alzheimer’s Disease and many other forms of Dementia.
Thank you so much,
Amy/Nurse Bitterpill
Special Medicine
“You got that special medicine that keeps me from murdering her?”
Moon Voodoo
“Where’s mama and her merry moon voodoo?”
Bite of the Apple
“I took a big bite of the apple and I got a whole lot of swallowing to do.”
Stamped in Triplicate
Nurse: “It’s going to be a beautiful day.”
Patient: “Did you send it in triplicate, stamped good day?”
Dilating
Nurse: “How are you today?”
Patient: “Well, you know, I’m dilating.”
Sentances
“Is there any reason why when I make sentences that nothing is there on the paper?”
Nurses: Unsung Heroes
Nurses are supposed to be the unsung heroes providing care, quietly doing whatever is necessary. Nurses have always kept the secrets of our society, keeping level heads in crisis.
One of the biggest secrets is that Alzheimer’s is not tragic all the time. There is laughter, there is love. And I’m tired of being an unsung hero. I want to be a loud, boisterous, unconventional hero that sings terribly and off-key. I want you to hear my voice about Alzheimer’s and Dementia.
If you have Alzheimer’s, you have permission to be happy. If you are caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s you have permission and a right to feel joy. Quit letting society tell us we are unsung. Raise your voice with Nurse Bitterpill in shattering the stigma of Dementia. There will be tragic moments. But the joy can easily outweigh them if you stay open to allowing them in.
I have a plan. I will be making a lot of noise. Make noise with me.
Nurse Bitterpill is in the process of publishing a book, Every Minute is a New Day. It is a long process (longer and more involved than I had anticipated). And an avenue to be vocal on behalf of my beautiful and joyous Alzheimer’s patients. It will not happen instantly. I do not have the luxury of cloistering myself away for six months without distraction to focus fully on writing. I am elbow deep in the real world of dementia every single day. In the trenches making life better for those suffering and have the audacity to be happy about it.
I don’t want to stop at just writing a book. I want to keep raising my voice with film, education, mentorships, and other forms of media to get the word out that we can still smile, laugh, and live after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. With a new business on the horizon, I plan on making everyone hear what I have to say even if means standing on street corners shouting to passersby that people with Alzheimer’s have a right to be happy. I am not fearless, I am determined. But if we all join together, we will be heard.
The launch of the new Kickstarter campaign for Every Minute is a New Day is approaching. Help me raise awareness and remove the tragic stigma of a Dementia diagnosis. Stay tuned for details.
Belly Drum
“Did you grow that belly just for me to pat like a drum.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 