“I think I ate Mother’s horse. If I try I’m a human being.”
“I think I ate Mother’s horse. If I try I’m a human being.”
Alzheimer’s Quote Of The Night
“I’m a coldy batty like hatty daddy.”
“Your dancing needs more pepper and jelly.”
“Are you ready for some donuts with some life to ’em? These glazed babies will raise the dead.”
“Shut up or I’m gonna kick your butt bucket.”
“Yeah, I guess I am feisty. But only because you’re full of shit.”
“I think she’s more of a witch than you are. She just wishes things to her and steals them from me.”
“Don’t drink the candy. It’s sleeping with the wrong girl.”
“She went south for the winter with the rest of the birds. When the river curves she’ll be back.”
“Someone stole all the sandwiches. I think the Navy Seals have been here.”
“When are you going to get me some of that snake marmalade?”
-To which I said to myself : “That would make a great band name.”
Conversations
Patient: “Daddy’s a-hurtin”
Nurse: “Why’s he a-hurtin?”
Patient: “He went off to war. And war is a lot of work.”
Conversations
Nurse: “Go to bed!”
Patient: “With who?”
Nurse: “Fair enough”
“I’m gonna pop ’em in the yes-sir.”
“Can you give me a stamp? I want to mail you my earlobe.”
“You look at me again without coffee, I’ll tear your nipple off.”
“Did you see where that midget went? I think she stole my mind and hid it behind the bookcase.”
“I’m sorry I’m a pain in your bounce. Which looks like it has plenty of ounce.”
“The happiest day of my life was when the whole world was fighting and they told me I was a good man.”
“Look here, never listen to jackasses and aardvarks.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 