“If you touch my clouds, I’ll punch you across the hill.”
Get Off Of My Cloud
“If you touch my clouds, I’ll punch you across the hill.”
Alzheimer’s Quote Of The Night
“Come on home, I’ll warm your room with pee.”
“There’s an older man sitting out there in the roller park. His face looks like a train. Could you tell him to go away? And by the way, I didn’t want to alarm you, but he’s dead. I don’t know how he found out where I was. I guess dead men with train faces can find anyone.”
“You know that song about sweet Alabama? I think it was about you.”
Conversation
Nurse: “How old is your baby?”
Patient: “I can’t think of everything.”
“On the table down there, could you look for my bad heart?”
Conversation
Nurse: “What can I do for you ma’am?”
Patient: “I need people to spread on my toast.”
Like A Prayer
“Our father who farted in heaven…”
Patient looking at the wheel on her wheelchair, patting it gently: “How cute, you got a new tooth”
“I brought the cowboys into town. I’m not strange.”
“I don’t know any stories, but I do know Carol.”
A conversation with herself
“I put her in a different body”
“Put me back in my body.”
“It feels awful. I have no body.”
“I’d feel better in another body.”
“Is my knife the answer?”
“Let’s go to work and drink some milk with my hearing aids.”
“You know, places like Germany, Sweden, and France are pretty high up with their bee hives. And you come out, the table covered, a whole spread. Then we came home and some guy who stole my television didn’t know how high up I was in Germany. It means something.”
“Come on lady, let me give you a fancy face.”
“If you give me a lump on the head, I’ll give you a pillow.”
“Get me some water to get the whale. I need a wheelbarrow filled with water. I can’t fly this by myself.”
Conversations
Patient 1: “You must have pigs in your ear.”
Patient 2: “Just a drink maybe.”
Patient 1: “That explains the rain.”
“I like you, you’re dark in the head. No one likes a monster’s personality.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 