“You’re an old turd sittin’ in my Pepsi.”
Old Turd
“You’re an old turd sittin’ in my Pepsi.”
Alzheimer’s Quote Of The Night
Strawberry Banana
“She’s pickin’ bananas out of her strawberry patch.”
Pretty Ass
“You’re pretty for an asshole.”
Hit the whore
“If I get the car started, I’ll get to hit the whore.”
Get off my back
“Lady, get that fart off my back.”
Pinky Bird
“Your pinky finger is a bird in my sky.”
Move The Wall
“I’m stuck in a wall and I can’t even move it.”
Get Down Ernest
“Throw the bed, Ernest. Then get the hell down.”
Crack
“I don’t want to listen to you until they crack.”
Son Of A Sea Cook
“I’m going to be an old son of a sea cook.”
Heart Butter
“OK. I’ll butter your hot black heart.”
Perspective
Nurse: “I’m like the witch with the house on top of her.”
Patient: “You’re lucky you have a roof over your head.”
Stains Of A Clown
“I’ve got to wash all these clowns off my clothes.”
God’s Blue Bells
Patient: “Please help me.”
Nurse: “How can I help you?”
Patient: “I want to be a visitor of God.”
Nurse: “How can I help with that?”
Patient: “I want you to help me paint someone blue.”
Nurse: “I’m not sure I can do that.”
Patient: “God said that bells are more than plenty.”
Chocolate Japan
“The question would be that Japan right there. Japan with the chocolate on it.”
Paper Sack
“I’m going to make the best of this paper sack to put your hair in.”
Bait Suit
Nurse: “Where are you going, Sir?”
Patient: “Laying in my bait suit.”
Alligator
“Look at this guy, he’s half an alligator.” -said to his own feet.
Auto Blind
“I don’t want to be blind like my car.”
Wings Of Children
Patient 1: “You want me to take a crack at that leg?”
Patient 2: “I’ll roll you in the children’s wings.”
Patient 1: “We’ll have to kick ’em all out before the dog get’s here.”
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