“He apoosed it twice.”
Twice
“He apoosed it twice.”
Alzheimer’s Quote Of The Night
Bumps
“You got bumps! They’re pretty nice.”
Walrus Sniffles
“Can you hold this [silverware] while the walrus sniffles?”
Hippie
“Is my hippie in the way?”
Next Week
Nurse: “Can I get you something?
Patient: “A woman for next week.”
Frenchmen
Patient: “Have you seen my daughter?”
Nurse: “No, not today.”
Patient: “You know where she is? She’s across the bay. She finds those Frenchmen pretty damn interesting.”
Western Union Woman
Patient: “Were you here last year?”
Nurse: “Yes I was.”
Patient: “Then you were here when all the women busted out.”
Nurse: “I don’t remember that.”
Patient: “Well, I Western Unioned them all across the street.”
Favorite Green
“You’re my favorite kind of green.”
Heart String
“I have a special string in my heart for you, don’t think I don’t.”
Delicate Operation
“When you are in an operation like this, you can’t afford to be caught with your dex in a Rex.”
Dictation
A resident asked me to take dictation for her. This is her letter.
Dear Silent Brent,
That won’t go over good with your paper romance. We need a lawyer.
Big
“That’s so big it’s a kidney!”
Prickly Pear
“I think you’re under sunder of the prickly pear.”
Airport
Nurse: “Will you be my beautiful lady?”
Patient: “For the rest of the airport.”
Different Hill
“That’s a hill for a different map”
Locked Doors
Patient: “You didn’t tell me about all the locked doors to get here.”
Nurse: “I didn’t run across any locked doors on my way. I got through just fine.”
Patient: “Well, you’re smaller than me.”
Coal Horizon
“The coal is out of the time and won’t come home until the horizon spills the day.”
Nickel Raised
“My little nickel raised this house.”
Rock Rock
“Rock rock rebonaise with fire.” -Shouted while watching the movie Grease
Difference
“It makes a difference on the difference.”
Nurse Bitterpill [dot] com 