“Ma’am, do we bite our own apple or do you bite it for us?”
My Apple
“Ma’am, do we bite our own apple or do you bite it for us?”
Author: Amy Moloney
Thermostat
“If you’re not made of wood you don’t have a themostat.”
This Cruel World
“What was I talking about? Oh yeah, how cruel the world is and who hard it is for nurses to stand all day.”
Game of Now
Patient: “Games are fun!”
Nurse: “What game do you want to play?”
Patient: “We’ll play the ‘In the Zone of Now’ where tomorrow is where lessons are learned.”
Stamped Ticket
“Can I get my ticket stamped until this afteroon on the first flight out of canned rot?”
Bear Climbing
“I think it’s natural to go bear climbing.”
Hunters
“We can use deer hunters to track down that ice cream truck.”
Ears
“Where do you keep your ears?”
Corsage
“That’s a corsage with an attitude.”
Not an Option
“Where are you taking me, Officer? New York is not an option.”
Magic
“Your magic is dumb.”
Barrel
“Help! I’m in a barrel without any hope.”
Shower
“I try to keep in touch with my ten year old shower.”
Robert Redford
Nurse: “That’s Robert Redford on TV.”
Patient: “Can he have breakfast?”
Nurse: “I’d love to have breakfast with Robert Redford.”
Patient: “Only if he cuts that shit off his head.”
Nurse: “I kind of like his hair.”
Patient: “You’re the reason he doesn’t make movies any more.”
Noise Chute
“You better put those foreign feathers back up your noise chute.”
New Movie
“For God’s sake, we’ll never have a movie if we wait for you to make it.”
Give Me a Kip
“You never come home and give me a kip.”
Get Even
“I’m so glad you love me enough not to get even.”
Complaining Dance
“The more you complain the more I dance.”
Moon Temperature
“I don’t want your moon temperature water!”
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