Taxes

Patient: “Hey, how long do I have on these income taxes?”

Nurse: “You have until April 15th.”

Patient: “Good, I can take a nap then.”

Where to Go

Nurse: “Where are you going?”

Patient: “I’m going to January, all the way.”

“I feel like someone who has cabbage for brains.”

“I found some Apaches in my oatmeal. Should I make them lunch?”

“Breakfast isn’t getting any better. But your kisses get sweeter every day.”

“I don’t like the eyes of insulation.”

“Dammit! This wheelchair is on strike.”

“I wish something more than you was floating around here”

Patient: “They get scared, don’t they?”

Nurse: “How can we make them not scared?”

Patient: “Butterflies and mud.”