Conversations with Jesus

Patient having conversation with herself:

“Jesus, are you here?”

“No. I’m not where you are.”

“Jesus, did you sneeze?”

“No, I’m on the train with Melinda.”

“Mama Mia, I’m going to fall into your nose.”

Rabies Bed

Patient: “What did you do with my rabies bed?”

Nurse: “Your bed has rabies?”

Patient: “It will when I get through with it.”